Today in the asylum formerly known as school, 39 lessons were not taught by teachers. Or at least, not by the teachers who should have been teaching them but by Imposters in the shape of four supply staff and three cover supervisors. It was the same yesterday and will be the same tomorrow. The Real Teachers are on courses, in meetings and heading for the hills in a coach with (a handful of) the children. Meanwhile, the remaining pupils are in classrooms with Imposters desperately trying to deliver work which is meaningless to them and manage teenagers disaffected by their Real Teachers' repeated absence. Over the course of, say, a term, some children will have spent more lessons with their Imposters than with their Real Teachers. Interest, discipline and continuity of learning become idealised concepts and with them the prospect of more than 35% A*-C grades and the reputation of the school. It is a pity that the Senior Leadership Team making the connection between teacher absence and more than 35% A*-C grades is also an idealised concept. One wonders whether Ofsted will similarly struggle with it.
Meanwhile, the remaining teachers are rounded up and herded into Twilight Inset to be told they are failing by someone incapable of correctly punctuating a powerpoint presentation - which she reads to them.
Quotes of the day:
Year 9 boy, top set, History cover lesson - "Who's our King?"
Year 10 girl, being introduced to Shakespeare - "People couldn't write 400 years ago."
And my current favourite - "Miss, how do you spell GCSE?"
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